17 October 2006

chicagoist antisocial

listening to: nin - 'i do not want this'

i've noticed a change every year. after girls' weekend, i get sullen and withdrawn and angry. yesterday it was quite bad, hate simmering just underneath the surface. i felt extremely combative, daring. why? i wish i knew. it might be that i have to socialize with people whom i normally don't see. but i've known these girls for.. god, for the better part of my life now. maybe that's what pisses me off, that i don't have more to say to them. every year i feel i'm in the same place, that i never change, that i have nothing to talk about.

this year was a tiny bit different. i did join chicagoist recently. (i've been meaning to mention that.) but when nobody knows what the fuck chicagoist is since they're not into blogs or they live out in bumble, what difference does it make? i'm still not in a relationship. i haven't bought a house or gotten a fabulous job. (altho i did note that, strangely, i've been at my job longest out of all the girls who went this year. freaky.) i'm small potatoes.. the perpetual tagalong sister. i don't so much feel as if i come from a different time from them all, since they're all about 5 years older, so much as i feel like i come from a different planet. despite the beautiful surroundings and getting out of the city, ultimately girls' weekend amounts to me wanting to spend a great period of time by myself afterward...wondering why i don't have the skills to communicate. like always.


Adam said...

With a handle of "geekgrrl" who writes a blog and contributes to another, has the ass-kicking title of "rapant douchebaggery" as her own blog and who's recently posted about the joys of hooking up an Atari 2600 to her "gaming" setup, you know damn well you're going to have a hard time relating to the recently married-baby-expecting-ethan-allan-buying-new condo-living-on-their-way-to-middle-management young professional girlfriends!

I certainly can relate. As my friends have gotten married and bought condos, I've bought an XBox 360, a new iBook an HDTV and a WiFi access point. My friends bought new dockers, I got a new Uber Micro shirt from Pure Pwnage.

We're geeks, nerds, technologists. A breed apart. Celebrate it and pitty the mainstream which enables the rage you feel when you submerge yourself in it.

I'll bet none of those chicks can pwn with a joystick or mouse like you can!? Which means; they teh suck!!!11!elevnty-one! :-)

Jim said...

I go to a yearly get-together sort of like that. The activity itself (watching and yelling at a bunch of crappy movies) is usually fun, but the dinner afterward where everyone brings their significant other and either reminisces (which has been done too many times) or talks about boring "catching up shit" is kind of irritating, especially since I'm pretty tired at that point usually. So, I usually skip that part now.

I don't know what I'd do in your situation. Maybe steer the conversation away from the status-comparing crap? It's not possible if everyone is seriously intent on talking about that stuff, but it's doable more often than I used to think.