20 May 2006

it's not just the fans!

wow. the cubs/sox game today would have been the usual northside beatdown if not for the fight that broke out in the second inning. we (kim, scott and i) were sitting on the third-base side, ground level. the sox's brian anderson hit a fly ball.. a.j. pierzynski, on third, ran for home. everyone stood up to see if the throw would make it to home in time. i saw pierzynski plow into the cubs' catcher, michael barrett, and after that it was complete pandemonium. i had no idea what had happened besides the collision. benches emptied, i couldn't tell if anyone was hurt, it was so crowded on the field. the crowd was going batshit. as we waited to see what would happen, some of the sox fans behind me said barrett threw a punch, then podsednik or konerko jumped him or something. according to them, barrett was a pussy. typical. barrett and pierzynski both got ejected, along with two other guys i didn't even know were fighting. even better, the sox scored a run on the play. joy!

other than that, it was a solid ass-whooping. rich hill's an utter dingleberry. i think he issued three straight walks in that second inning to lead up to a grand slam. no wonder the cubs are the laughingstocks of chicago... we left during the seventh inning stretch. i couldn't stomach being on a crowded train with a bunch of braying sox fans, and drunk ones at that.

silver lining: i didn't get jeered at or peed on, even though i was wearing my cubs hat.. and it was a really nice day out. i must go lie down now.

19 May 2006

snakes in a stadium

through some conflagration of time and space, i wound up with three tickets to the cubs/sox game tomorrow afternoon. my purple cubs cap will be out in force. (do they even make sox caps in purple? i hope not.) i'm trying like mad to work up any sort of enthusiasm for it, but without derrek lee and a no-name, 0-3 pitcher working the mound.. my expectations are low. at least i'll get to see the burning hunk of man that is joe crede. maybe i'll make a giant sign that just has his face and a huge arrow to my lap...

17 May 2006

i can't win

the warmer it gets outside, the colder it gets in the office. i wore a light, gauzy white shirt to work today, along with capris and open-toed slides. i was forced to change into my sweatshirt and am currently draping a jacket over my legs.. and i still wish i were in a parka and gloves.


14 May 2006

a gross indiscretion

my friend Justin has brought to my attention the following incredible fact:

when one googles the quoted phrase "edible assless chaps" ... nothing comes up.

there's so much wrong with that. this is what the Internet was MADE FOR, people!

i want to see some edible assless chaps on the market out there, STAT!

05 May 2006

apartment sweet apartment

omg, look what i found! i have a blog!

i'm now in my new place with an average amount of fuss. i only felt like crying maybe twice. packing was no problem.. i even have a few brand-new boxes left over (want some?). i couldn't believe i wasn't going to be living in my apartment anymore. i'd lived there for two years, longer than anywhere else in the city. where would i shop? what would i see? i'll miss 'my' houses, i know that..

still, time plods on and i had to move out of that admitted shithole. naturally, my troubles began on moving day. i went to the new place to go over a checklist so when i move out, i can point to something and say 'hey, this was f'ed up before i got here.' great concept (this wasn't done for my old place), 'cept i found a lot more wrong than i bargained for: my bedroom and kitchen windows didn't open; the toilet ran forever; it wobbled back and forth when you sat on it (a fact i discovered *after* the checklist); the countertop laminate nearest the stove was burnt and some of it coming off the backstop; and some other minor things. i thought this place was going to be the money pit from hell.

then, in my infinite wisdom, i left my newly acquired cell phone back at my old place. that was bad news, since the movers were due to be at my place half an hour after the checklist thing.. at least that's when their 2-hour window started. as it turns out, that didn't matter much since they didn't have my cell phone # on file, even though i specifically called and gave it to them. i missed the call, my building manager left me a very testy message (none from the movers, funny that), and by the time i got back, they'd already left. fun!

somehow i wrangled a three-man crew out of them (i'd put in for two men before). their leader happened to be one of the more overtly racist men i've met in the city. very brusque process. if i'd been moving into another garden apartment it probably would have taken an hour.. that is, if we hadn't gotten stuck in the alley. since my back alley was kind of an allen wrench shape, curving sharply to go back out to my street, we couldn't get through that way. had to back out the entire length. cops were called, directions were bungled, hispanics were insulted. oh, and did i mention it was raining during all of this?

a short while and much coin droppage later, i found myself in my new place, but my day wasn't over yet. i still had to go back to my old place and clean. i'd left many cleaning implements in the apartment, so i couldn't just take a cab back.. i needed a ride. i knew my sis and her paramour were getting a jump start on moving and taking some stuff over to their mutual new place that night, so i called my friend Trevlin. Trevlin has a penchant for dressing very well, but i figured if i'm moving, he'll dress it down a little, no? no. up he showed, resplendent in a black three-piece suit and black fedora, to help me move my nasty-ass brooms and cleansers (luckily i pawned off my useless vacuum cleaner on my building manager). bless 'im for it.

so now i get to unpack and paint this weekend. the sooner i get it over with, the better. i just hope my cat doesn't get her hair permasealed in my walls before it's all over.