call me ms. augustus gloop

been a while. i don't know what it is about blogging that makes me not want to do it. i figured i'd have filled up half the internet by now with crap from my brain.

my sister's getting married in exactly a week. yesterday we threw her her bachelorette party. we didn't bar-hop, we didn't hire a stripper, we didn't go to a wolves game (an act we have done in the past). what'd we do? we went on a chocolate tour of chicago. and omg, it was the best damn idea ever.

the entire tour took place in the gold coast/river north area of the city, all along michigan avenue. our tour guide was a spritely, animated woman that i never would believe ate a piece of chocolate in her life, just by looking at her. listening to her talk, though, you could definitely sense her passion for it. we hit six shops in about three hours, all giving out samples of some sort:

- teuscher, 900 n. michigan. sample: champagne truffles. it's a tiny shop with cute little european hand-made figurines that have chocolates inside. i'd never heard of the place, but it's what you think a typical small swiss chocolate place would be like. i bought a bar of 88% dark chcolate. they had 99%, but that plunge is just too deep right now.

- lindt, water tower place. sample: choice of raspberry, orange or dark truffles, along with a "spring" truffle of white and dark chocolate. one wall was floor-to-ceiling truffles, the rich, creamy truffles lindt is known for. a mother and her two kids kept darting in and out of our group, which got kind of annoying, but the truffles made everything bad melt away. i came away with a peanut butter truffle that i ate on the spot, a cherry & chilli dark chocolate bar, and a chocolate crème brûlée bar.

- godiva, water tower place. sample: chocolixir, a blended drink kind of like a frappucino without the coffee. holy SHIT. everything had been delicious up to this point, but the chocolixir blew me away. it was pure liquid chocolate that went down smooooth. nathan, one of the godiva workers, was very nice and looked quite good too...until he said he and his partner had just adopted triplets. goodbye, sex drive. i didn't buy anything, but am kicking myself for not getting their chocolate-covered raspberries.

- hershey's, 822 n. michigan. sample: reese's crispy crunchy bar. this was a marked step down from the other stops in terms of both atmosphere and selection, i felt. it was geared much more towards kids than the typical artistic chocolate shops, kinda like the disney of chocolate stores. plus the only thing that made our sample stick out was that it was new. i didn't turn it down, though.

- vosges, 520 n. michigan. sample: pieces of goji chocolate bars, which are made with goji berries and pink sea salt. this is the real reason i wanted to go on this tour. i've loved vosges ever since i picked up a naga bar from binny's on a whim. vosges is known for very unusual chocolate combinations, like olives, wasabi and curry powder. i blew the most money here with four bars: calindia, woolloomooloo, red fire, and mo's bacon, which had just debuted the day before. that's right, peeps, motherfuckin' bacon. (maybe that's what the "mo's" stands for?)

- moonstruck, 320 n. michigan. sample: an espresso-laden daisy made from dark chocolate. seats!! thank god they had seats, i was about to fall over from standing and walking and standing some more. moonstruck's a full-fledged café with lots of room, and not a few delicious truffles. i bought two truffles, amaretto and honey caramel, and was disappointed only when they were gone. if i hadn't been full up with sweets and nothing else, i would have gone for a peanut butter milkshake. oh well.

after the whole thing was over, we headed to goose island on clybourn for some much-needed real food. i ate so much yesterday after being on a diet for two months, i don't know how i wasn't majorly sick. i needed it bad, though. to be without chocolate for so long.. oh, the torture. the shame! now i just have to get through another week before i can start nibbling away at the treasures in my fridge...