the ironing is not all that delicious

at the risk of jinxing myself, i have the remote possibility of becoming a member of chicagoist. i applied for a 'weekender' position a few weeks ago - they don't normally post on weekends, or didn't use to - and have submitted a few stories. two of them got posted yesterday, kind of on a trial basis. if i keep it up and turn in quality stuff, i might get hired for realz. glee!

now for the down side.

as my friends and family know, i was in an abusive relationship for a few years, mentally and emotionally. i finally managed to break it off when our lease was up; we went our separate ways. however, he would still call me at all hours, he sent me upsetting mail.. he even showed up at my doorstep one time, driving from ohio. once i moved into a new place, i changed my number, but he's asked friends about me.. i don't know when it will ever end.

the thing about chicagoist is, when they list their staffers, they put their full names. i don't know if that's a strict policy or not. i just googled myself this morning and came up with very little, nothing that could tie me to anything tangible. but if i'm googlable through chicagoist... i don't know, i'm afraid bad things could happen. i hate the thought of hiding behind an alias when everyone else uses their real name.. i'd feel like a chickenshit. hell, i don't even know if an alias is an option. but i know what i've been through.. what price must i pay to be able to do what i want?