memory loss

(excuse the capitals...MS Werd overrode my dashing style)

I was doing my daily crossword on the train this morning when I came across something odd. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember the capital of Oregon. Not only did I not remember it, it was one of those things I couldn’t recall ever knowing, even though I know I knew it. (what a mental mouthful.) The only city I could even think of in Oregon is Eugene, and that’s because it was mentioned in a Futurama episode I saw last night.

This is seriously disturbing. I pride myself on my rote memorization ability, and to find it’s disintegrated? And over something as simple as state capitals? I wish this were something new, but it’s not. I often have conversations, then can’t recall what I said five minutes later. (This was particularly true of convos with my abusive ex. Made defending myself hell on earth.) Thoughts of the A-word have popped up in my head from time to time. My step-grandfather died from it, but he wasn’t blood, so I thought I was safe.. until I found out recently that my paternal grandfather died from it, too. On top of that, I know my memory has gone steadily downhill, probably since I graduated high school. I figured part of it might be because I didn’t really _have_ to memorize anything anymore, at least not for memorization’s sake. Another part of it might be the amount of games I play and the degree I get swallowed by them, not taking in any other information.

Then I read this.

Sadly, it makes a lot of sense. I’ve been listless and mopey the past couple days.. coupled with my unique flavor of tired, it’s not as jarring that I couldn’t remember Salem. (it still sounds weird to me, though.) The pros are I don’t think I have to worry about Alzheimer’s quite yet, and there may be a legitimate reason for my mental lapses. The cons? Well…what am I going to do about it?